As the time goes by, I don’t know how I felt… today I was broken by a news…not to say a news but a rumour just after I had a meet with my friends. Since then I was overcoming with emotion adding my sickness…my old sickness. I was not feeling well since the second semester started. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and don’t know what to do about it. The moment I swallow something then I would feel that I’m going to vomit afterwards. And today is the worst…

my old skill...

I’m just feeling too tired and tired as my life is sufficient for now. Of the moons ago I got calligraphy skill on my own that I practiced writing and writing ‘khat’, the Islamic calligraphy every time I got requests from friends or even teachers in school. They would give me some words or phrases in ‘jawi’ version to me to make recommendations and then I would start to write and write and write. I don’t want such skill to disappear, so that I tried very hard, writing and writing then…daily. But I think it would be sufficient for now…better I retire from the time being.

May be I should have a jog today…

I received his call last night…the happiest...

I had a motivation lecture today with Dr. Nash. When the time went through, Dr Nash had said something that really touched my heart, something that would sometimes help increase my spirit towards my efforts improving my speaking skill. In his planning, he had divided us into twenty groups, three per group that he preferred us to get involved in a forum next Friday. It is going to be the best and the best forum in the world as we would have Joseph and his teammates and another group for the day to come out with ideas and some discussions on the topic of relationship. Thus, everyone would have the opportunity to express their opinions or any objections against the topic discussed. And so am I. it is a good start to develop my speaking style as I post my questions and share my ideas with those panels from the two groups in front. It would be a great 'conference' among us!!!!!!!!!!!!

hoping you all to give your hands...

I was so afraid today. I’m afraid of ‘computing skills’ subject…I’m just too afraid of that…too afraid. May anyone help me???? I need supports from all… I really need it…

'aNTa' iS sTiLL ThE bEsT Of aLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Regardless what kind of result ‘anta’ have got, you are still my best and best friend …forever…and ever… I am still in great need of you. I am still in need of you. Just remember that… ‘Anta’ is the best person in the world… keep on working hard for your bright future… and put in your mind that I always pray to Allah for you to have better life in the future. And do not forget to daily wake up early for your Subuh prayer. Good start would head you to good eventuality!!!...even better than that.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH 'ANTA', MY FRIEND??????????????????????

I do not know what’s wrong with him!!!! He did no longer give his great sweet smile. As the time goes through, he has changed a lot… I could feel it…I could see it. It is not like before when we had funny time together and talked each other at the moment we met each other although about a silly thing. But from the time being, there is no more communication between us…have he got big problems??? Was that due to the announced result the last six days that he was very disappointed about his transcript??? Is it the problem??? Was it because of me??? Or was I in problem???... I could feel the differences. This semester carried many differences to me compared with the last semester. And the utmost I could feel was his attitude. He has changed…he has changed a lot… in fact, ‘ana’ got problems that were more and more serious and even more worst than what ‘anta’ has got. That was before I came to UNITEN, carrying a long series of unexpected stories… only The Loved One knows…

I have not been feeling very well since the last two days when I reached Amanah. Fortunately, there was only one-hour class to attend today, the Physics class. It was so many times I had to drag myself to the toilet which is quite far away from my class. I just could not stand with a lot of mucus liquid in my nose. I had to move those things out of my nose. It was really uncomfortable for me to have revisions of my studies the whole day. It was really bad, really bad…

I’m still thinking about how I’m going to face the challenging future life. I wonder how I’m going to live abroad with fewer Malaysian manning the shops and stalls. In fact, there might be no more Malaysian…no more. “Living alone”. Sometimes, I thought it would be very good for me as I will gain a lot of advantages that I can improve my speaking skill, but not only that…everything would be improved automatically. And then I will return to Malaysia, having teaching my students like a native speaker where it would be no more difficulties when I’m going to come out with words. Isn’t it good for me for the future??? But sometimes, I would feel that I really need friends when the time comes for me to live abroad, friends to assist me, to share anything with me, and last but not least to head me to the right path… That is the nature of life.

7 hours trip from Kuala Terengganu to Kuala Lumpur just now was not too bad although I got a severe cough that my throat was going to be very hurt on my way. But it was not last long. I felt better no sooner I had my lunch than. But it was still very painful especially when it began to cough again and again and sometimes I could feel blooding start to occur. However, the cough was not the thing I was very concerned about but my life, how my life is going to be after these 6-days breaks. Would there any improvement in my understanding towards my studies???

J must be waiting for me to resume the previous ‘guppies’ story. Here it is…I was told by my little brother that my fish ponds had been struck by naughty ‘kampong’ boys and had claimed 5 lives the previous day when I was on the way home. I was quite angry about that surprising news. Upon hearing that, I instantaneously made a call back to tell my little brother to handle those culprits. Five mothers were too many for me… Furthermore, they were all female in gender that almost seemed to give birth from the time being. It was too bad…too bad for such mothers to have been killed in such the ruthless way.

Today, I made a quick step, lifting all ponds to the left back corner of my house, a very safe and sound spot for my guppies. And from now on, there would be no more death and stealing from those mischievous boys. I’m very sure about that! I guessed there was no much time left for now that previously I decided to make other three new ponds utilising three other vases when I came back home since I would be back in UNITEN tomorrow morning… but I will take note that and put it in my memory as long as I’m alive… “Rome was not built in a day”…I just have to hold on this…

a GoOd eXaMpLe...

Approximately at five, I stepped out from UNITEN together with my best friend…a very kind friend. Again my journey started. But this time, it was quite different. We headed to KTM Serdang by a taxi my friend had rented. All the way, I was just worried about my friends who are staying at the Amanah Apartment that they decided not to return to their respective homes. I wish you all safe and sound always…I wonder how they could have their meals if the food courts are all closed following Hari Raya Aidiladha. However, I would like to thank Syafiq for his Tiara which contributed a lot all this while…hopefully, it would be the same within the two days of Raya…

Time passed through…without any delay…never…………..Not long after that, we reached Putra Terminal. It was completely dark at the moment we stepped out from the train. Walking all the way to Hentian Putra Station, I was very afraid, afraid of the dispersal not long after that. We had our dinner at the upper floor of the bus station. It was quite a nice dinner somehow where we had a long talk, an unforgettable talk that I put in my memory…forever. But from the time being, I was dire afraid about the oncoming dispersal. It was very bad on me…really bad. I just could not stand that. Why should I face all these miserable things??? Why??? But sometimes I knew I should not make any moan. And I knew…I knew I should not question it at all. It just led to a big sin.

My pleasure had to be sufficient not long after we finished our meals and started to walk downstairs, heading to the entrance of the bus terminal where…where we had to separate ourselves. He was a great man. He was willing to accompany and send me to the terminal instead of heading straight to Pudu Terminal for his departure there. In fact, he was willing to share many things with me...many things. Isn’t it a good start of being closed to friend??? I wondered when the chance would take place again…

What’s the point to be unhappy?????????? Let us fight that… day by day passed through. The situation became worse… this day is the worst of all I think. I do not know what is going on me. Sad and sadder I am such that it devastates me a lot. Ouch!!! “Ya Allah…give me strength to fight this”. I do not know what else to say here. I just become weak and weaker as the time flows… many things happened this week… “Ya Allah”.

the end of the day...

~~~~~~as you wish, My Lord~~~~~

I don’t know my feeling right now…either happy or upset…or neither both…I can’t tell that… I did a few numbers of exercises in Calculus textbook this morning before taking a rest watching ‘The Patriot’, my utmost favourite movie. The movie was quite impressive which told a story about historical warfare between American people and British army. The war had claimed many deaths among the two nations. But a thing that interested me a lot was that the way they were fighting and defending each other. The utmost front soldiers were prone to death as they moved forward approaching each other. And in each group of parade, there would be a captain who played a vital role as he would give order to his soldiers to fire shots. The way they fought is like what is pictured in the movie ‘Napoleon’… I suggest you see your own…

“Ulik Mayang” is the best traditional songs I think. It is good for relaxing after a hard work the whole day. So, try your own…

I feel very sad…very sad that no one can tell that…

no one knows...never!!!

One hour lecture was not too bad today…and I could say “bad” too…it needs a lot of critical thinking that had trembled me a lot when I tried to digest the real meaning of a mathematically sentence. I had to utilise the left part of my brain to the fullest when catching a glimpse at those complicated questions. But that did not mean I gave up earlier. I am not a looser who would easily drop while surprisingly and firstly struck. I got a personal problem…a big problem...but that does not mean I restrain myself from taking any prevention for it would not affect my studies from the time being…only Allah, The Loved One knows…

First quiz was the Calculus one. To my relief, I do not have to worry too much about it since my answer got the same as the Lee’s answer. But, the physics one brought a lot of anxiety on me. I had produced a very wrong answer since I forgot to square the radius between one of the two charges at the first step… and that I considered my mark is going to be lower that 7 out of 10 marks I estimated. But one thing made me very thrilled at the present was that I was able to understand one of my classmates regarding on a Calculus topic. Lastly, I make it!!! And that had overcome my anxiety on the current Physics quiz...

quizzes...home...guppies...

Tomorrow would be our first Calculus and Physics quiz for this semester. That’s trembles me a lot somehow. Nevertheless, I’m still thinking about how I am going to go home for the oncoming ‘Aidiladha’. My utmost concern is my guppies there. Had my little brother feed those guppies??? Did he make addition of water in the ponds since it would experience deficiency of its level every two weeks??? Did he??? By the way, I wish you all the best, friends!!! Keep on making revisions!!!

A holiday fell today. And that was quite very happy news but it was not enough to treat my dullness the whole day. Once again the day became very dull… In addition, my roommate was not here. He had gone to his brother’s home in Shah Alam. And I…I had to stay alone somehow….

I felt very boring the whole day…no can tell that. However, I tried to push myself doing some exercises in the Calculus textbook. But it just took a moment…just a few minutes. And then I pushed the Calculus textbook away and chose Chemistry book as the replacement. Chapter 11 interested me a lot when I read about the boiling point which is related to vapor pressure. For a simple example, Dr. Rose had showed us and explained about how much time it takes for an egg to boil at the Mount Everest instead of boiling it at the lower land. The fact is that it takes much time for an egg to boil at a spot with lower external pressure which is at the mountain. And today with the help from Joseph, I got a lot of info regarding on the topic in only 10 minutes time…thanks Joseph!!!

I felt very boring the whole day…no can tell that. However, I tried to push myself doing some exercises in the Calculus textbook. But it just took a moment…just a few minutes. And then I pushed the Calculus textbook away and chose Chemistry book as the replacement. Chapter 11 interested me a lot when I read about the boiling point which is related to vapor pressure. For a simple example, Dr. Rose had showed us and explained about how much time it takes for an egg to boil at the Mount Everest instead of boiling it at the lower land. The fact is that it takes much time for an egg to boil at a spot with lower external pressure which is at the mountain. And today with the help from Joseph, I got a lot of info regarding on the topic in only 10 minutes time…thanks Joseph!!!

go with the flow...

Everyone seems to go out this weekend for a joyride I thought. And that what had scared me all this while. I’m just afraid of having too much freedom with friends. I’m just afraid of that. My Mom always said to me… “Don’t make friends with those who would probably pose you a lot of problems and take you away from your books”… Mom, I’ll never forget that!!!

I have nothing to deal with boring situation unless playing a game…a very adventurous game namely. “Rise and Fall” is the name. Not to say that I really enjoyed the game, but it was just to be filled up into this dull environment. However, it made no sense as soon as I finished the game. It came back to normal…a very dull situation. Should I go out for a distance walk??? Or get close to nearby roommates?? Or start making revision for the Calculus and Physics quiz this Monday???

Today’s class ended at twelve. Not to say I was quite happy with that. I was just felt a bit relief because we had had non-stop classes since eight in this morning. It was better to relax our mind afterwards. And I… I decided to sit on the chair and, switch on my laptop and begin typing a little word to be put into my blog.

I am still thinking about my going back home that I am going to cancel that plan, if possible, since there are no more bus tickets to be sold. My only chance is just to wait for the additional bus to the coastal areas. But it always poses me unlucky eventuality somehow.

But sometimes I would think why I should need to go home instead of staying in UNITEN and keeping on my works as a foundation student….

i wanna go home... : (

a very nice creature...how do you think???

vErY sAd NeWs... : (

Bus ticket for the route KL- Kuala Terengganu is none anymore... : (

SeCoNd SeMeStEr...the opening : )

Today is my first day of the second semester in this programme. Stepping into our class, we got a little bit shock when we saw Mr. Ahmad Kamal was giving his Calculus lecture for the first topic of chapter 6. Is it too early to give a lecture without a briefing or even without a timetable??? All we had to do was just follow the lecture which took about an hour from eight to nine.

While in the evening we had a nice meeting with Dr. Nash together with our PPOU coordinator, Dr Rosli. We discussed about how to deal with our future life since we are going to be abroad and facing a new environment, a good motivation I thought. Dr. Nash had given a very motivated talk, flashing back what kind of difficulties and obstacles had he undergone when he was in Japan pursuing his studies the last 10 years, if I am not mistaken.

Actually, it was a very interesting motivation talk and opening of our second semester. And I like that way…

...tHe LaSt... : (

I think today’s chit-chat using YM will be the last since my second semester is going to start tomorrow, December 3, 2007. I have to varnish all memories of the pastime. All they just ravage my useful time and strength of my life except some things, things that had given me strength and a lot encouragement throughout my whole life…

iT iS nOt FaiR!!!

Sometimes i feel it is not fair as Utp members for foundation get longer breaks...ouch!!! it is awfully not fair!!! they sat their last paper yesterday...and now..they are packing for home...and would come back around 26 January 2008... isn't it right to say 'too long' for just a second semester???

empty...

I fly in the sky alone…

Feeling very lonely, I have nothing to do…except having daydreamed.

I feel very lonely without the present of my Mom. I feel very lonely without the present of my siblings especially the little one…ouch!! Miss you Mom…

I’m groaning in pain… I feel very sick…very sick that no one can tell that.

Ya Allah, help me to face all these things…Ya Rahman...Ya Rahimm...

arrived at Hentian Kajang about 7.30 in the evening.

three hours left... : (

My bus departure time is going to be at ten tomorrow morning. 24 hours left before I step off my home, undergoing other unpredictable journey of my life starting on Dec 3.

Just now I had to replace back my guppies that I made a trial for their breeding experiment on the previous day to their original place. However, the trial was not so bad. The mothers gave about four bright little fish birth that I could not identify their gender since they are too little to recognize. They seemed to hardly mingle with others at the moment I evacuated them into their original pond. But the next couple of minute, it made sense. They did very well…well done, my guppies!!! Well done!!!

Long I stood at the pond side, having a look at those fish, trying to adapt their ‘new’ environment. And it reached glorious eventuality. Thus, those fish had been one of my exemplary of hard works all this while. These fish also had posed me long-live calmness and happiness since I was schooled of the moons ago.

For future plan, I have made my mind to make additions of some bigger ponds besides educating students in schools. I would like to be the biggest exporters of various types of guppies, if possible. It is understood that every great success comes from great boundless energy of work. And that struggling enthusiastically is the only solution to meet the reality of my aim. By the way, keep on your works!!!

oNe DaY LeFt...

Thinking of one more day left before I make my steps to return back to UNITEN, I can feel an oncoming loss awaiting me. But I still cannot anticipate what it is going to be…what actually it would be???... Haven’t I lost in the dream from the time being? I just cannot put it onto paper.

The whispers keep on questioning me without a gap of time. Have I utilized time to the fullest??? Is there a staggering improvement in myself after all…. the whole breaks? Have I put myself in controllable discipline towards my time management as being taught by Madam Fatimah and Miss Eliza formerly? Have I???

Usually in my life, the last five days of any holiday’s breaks would be the worst of all. And it does… when all UTP members have been having their final exam finishing up their second semester. And that poses a dull and boring phenomenon. I just cannot have a ‘walkie-talkie game’ anymore since they are all in critical area of stress. Disturbances are not my nature of life…but sometimes, it has to…but not this time.

Every time I feel I have lost the scenarios… who am I? Where am I? What is this place? For what nature I had been placed here? When is the end of the world? Does Mars help us to bear increases in human population of the existing Earth? It happened so many times since my period of adolescent about 6 years ago. Thinking backwards, that’s just six years!!! I can count it with my fingers. It is only six fingers used!!! But during the long period of time, so many things happened…bad and encouraging memories…or either one…or neither both… I have been wondering all this while... When is the end???

...rEaLiTy Of LiFe...

I felt so tired the whole day… my forehead seemed to be gradually warm and warmer then and coolness took over both of my foot. But the thing became worst when it came to evening at about four and so forth before I swallowed a spoonful of liquid medicine. Not sooner than that, I felt awfully sleepy that I decided to have a long nap so as to feel better when the night appeared so that I could continue my English works. And now it makes sense!!!

Three days left for me to pack my belongings before facing gloomy eventuality that I have to return back to my place of pursuing my studies in UNITEN. The time moves by itself and keeps moving without any delay. Anxiety fulfills each part of my heart. Adrenalin seems to be emitted double than usual. Sometimes, I felt it was a big mistake that I went back home. I just do not want to have grieved anymore… and be sad all the time… it is very painful!!! But I have to… for my family.

It sometimes touches my heart once I have a look at the old photos of my family. Formerly we had a nice daily life... and also a nice fighting… Now everything is going to be the opposite as I have to separate myself for my Physics foundation course at UNITEN… and too my brother who had already been in Cairo for his medical course. I still remembered my Mom cooking ‘daging merah’ for our dinner together with all members of the family with no exception of my stepsisters and too stepbrothers. We all seemed very happy as we played and had a very nice and wonderful journey together… it has to be learnt that from the time being everything has to change!!! It has to...

Today’s morning when I woke up, I was surprised by a SMS (short message system) that I received. It was from one of my best friends, also my god brother, who has been pursuing his studies in France in engineering course, which asking me whether I got his SMS or not… For me it got a deep meaning as I sincerely admitted that we did never be so close before…never being that…

“Is it a dream? ...No!! No!! It is a reality”…My heart kept telling me the truth that I was not dreaming…it was a real one…but it was not easily acceptable…I made my steps to the bathroom and took a bath. I was still thinking about the current occurrence the time I bathed. Isn’t it so weird???

It was about a quarter to seven when I decided to read yesterday’s News Strait Times for the second time. But it made no sense. Nothing much I gained from the active reading…nothing…”I must keep the phone away”…but nothing much I could do. I could not make it away from my desk. Was it a sin for not replying his? Had I broke the “ukhuwah” that we built all this while?

Overcoming with emotion, I got it in my hands, holding tightly… I could not drop it… it was a friend…not just a friend…it is going to be more than that…nobody could feel what I’m feeling right now… I just miss him so much!!! But life must go on. “Don’t think too much about the pastime ravaging you…be flexible interchanging your life style for the better”. The peculiar whisper was there. It was my heart telling me.

sUcCeSs DoEs CoMe...

Great efforts will turn out with great success…that’s what I always remind myself each time I fail to achieve certain goals I had set in mind. It is a natural scene to see a person with a great achievement after being so hard work in his or her reality of life.

My friends always say to me that I am a very lucky person since I always get what I want. But I expect they do not know how hard it was to meet with success. I always remind each of my friends of the former school. “Don’t ever try to give up. Keep on working hardly and never feel disappointed if there is a failure somewhere. Try to address the discouraging factors that always seem to drop you down” so that you will feel better of your life when you know those critical things especially when you meet the solutions”…

Success can be gained at any part of your life but schooling systems have given you high opportunity to proof your actual talents that schools have introduced you a lot of competitions challenging you enough. However, be remembered not to overextend yourself… hieve certain goals i great success...

tOdAy i DrOvE mY...

Today I drove my whole family to the Batu Burok beach. The beach still looked as same as it was two years ago. Nothing much changed except for the food stalls which became more and more compared to the previous year…and the cleanliness level was not compromised from the time being. The wind was so soft and cool that anyone could not feel it somewhere else except at the beach. It is better to say that the east coast beaches are the best place for relaxation for the locals after hard works during the daytime.

groaning in pain...sAdNeSs FiLLiNg Up...

Get away from me!!! Get away!!! I just don’t like that!!! But my fingers were still handling themselves filling up the YM form…the ID number and password.... even if it was not my initial nature. “Isn’t it true??? Isn’t it my purpose???” Sometimes, I wonder… Knowing that I’m online, two person tried to have chit-chat with me…furthermore, it was my god brother…actually my god brothers who had posted me “hi awak” and the other one “buzz!!!...salaam” of their word-typing respectively that I could not miss that. It is not easy to have chit-chat with them…still I hate that!!! Really hate that!!!...but my initial desire was not so strong to fight that thing…we spent approximately half an hour in there, nevertheless.

But it was not really bad as I pushed myself not to express the phrase “it’s quite a long time since we met”…never wrote that... I pushed myself to a thinkable topic but still in my brain his white smooth nice-looking face. With an instant speed, I ask his opinion about one of the latest issues arising from the UMNO conference recently…the debate of teaching science and mathematics in English Language instead of in Bahasa Melayu, the previous option. Would there be a staggering change of the language used for the time being of present generation or in the future???...we continued then.

But we stopped for a moment...”but it should be forever!!!,” I said to myself… Chit-chatting with no end…I hate it!!! But blessing God, however it came to an end. Anyway, I like to thank him so much as he was being the first person to be my ‘sifu’, who had taught me on how to deal with the computer programmes in eighteen years time…not…not really…he had introduced me the YM itself…huh…a bit deep regret… But I want to see him again…hopefully…as my god brother forever…and forever.

a JoYriDe...

I rode my old green bicycle (now it is my sister’s possession) for a joyride around the paddy field. I passed the old small wooden bridge which is commonly used by the locals here to get to the neighbourhood village. Once I had used the bridge to fish together with my little brother when flooding occurs as the paddy field overflowed its bank…but that seems to be a long time ago...since I was in Form 4…still a memory!!! huhu…

sTiLL wOnDeRiNg...

Driving my Mom to one of the hypermarket in Terengganu namely Sabasun, I still suffered deep injuries from the past memory. Looking around east and west sides, all places seemed to have glorious memories following the follow-up developments in this urban area…everything has to meet changes whenever it should…almost everything that I could see from the time being…and so am I…

Sabasun is one of the biggest markets in Terengganu that always seems to be overcrowded by locals in this state when weekends arrived…but at the present, it seems to be attended and overcrowded with no exceptional days till it is closed at the night. Merely want to buy packages of ‘karipap’ for our daily breakfast, my head was at the opposition held-area; I did not think too much on today’s buying. Holding tightly a blue basket in my hands, I kept looking people around with no exception of the cashier manning each counter in front.

“What such a woman manning the counter with boundless energy??? Even I myself could not behave the same as what they were doing…carrying on packing things with non-stop mode…it must be a dire tiredness and dullness especially when it is going to be a very long queue of people…what such a woman was that??? Where were the men??? Are them being ravaged its quantity by the huge presence of women???...

hardly beaten..

I said enough!!! Such ‘silly’ whispering is still playing in my mind, causing me a painful headache right now…hah!!! It’s too hard... Enough!!! Enough!!! Enough!!! Again I remind myself for not to easily give up.

“Don’t ever try to drop me down”. I always say that…always behave the same. But this time, it makes no sense nevertheless. I need someone to talk to with the exception of my mother and little brothers and sisters. But I do not ever want to burden my friends with my personal problems. I don’t want my friends to feel what I’m feeling right now. I don’t want them to be part of that. It is too hard for them. These Sadness and dire painful agony will never end…never end.

Sometimes, I would say that friends are very ruthless towards me since they bring along a lot of destructive memories making me always sad and sad for a very long-period of some time ago when recalling takes place. Accompanied with the soft songs especially those with natural equalizer like ‘Cinta Pura-pura’ by Ezlynn and ‘Mungkin Nanti’ by Peter Pan makes the situation become worse sometime that I would overcome with emotion in tears. However, friends play a vital role in making this life not a dull one…we gather…we play…and we disperse…I hate that!!!

aLL pOiSoNoUs...dON't EvEr TrY to DroP mE dOwN...

Having chit-chat with friends may help you reduce dullness and pose no stress among yourself.

By the way, a lot of chatting among each other may contribute to wasting your time or simply said you do not utilise your time to the fullest. I tried to avoid using yahoo messenger, the one that often drag me into wasting my time and menacing my works’ fluency and assignments.

That thing disturbs me a lot. “Do not ever try to drop me down!!! Remember that!!!” I always remind myself for not getting involved in any activity which does not benefit me myself. The saying “prevention is better than cure” is an effective method and should be considered the best. It does not mean that we put ourselves away from others instead of making friends with them. But the major eventuality lead to ineffectiveness use of time or better considered as ‘wasting time’. my recommendation here is that discipline yourself should be better. Always make a well-to-do list before putting your steps into action and ignore things that you do not take note of. Always remember to remind yourself the ‘wasteful’ things devastating your life.

IsN't It FaIr???...

I read yesterday’s newspaper. Isn’t it fair for Year One pupil to be bullied and assaulted??? What for??? A gang of Year Six ‘senior’ pupil was not seemed to snatch his cash or property of his possession…so what were their real natures of bullying that weak-looking seven-year-old boy??? What for???The victim namely Ashraf Aris who was suffered a fracture to one of his fingers had received treatment in a hospital after being taken by his mother. He was now being in trauma…Isn’t it fair for him to undergo all these in a very young age???

a fresh flash back...

Overcoming with emotion and sometimes happiness made this life not a dull one. That’s the real life Allah had conferred to all human being. Life with all happiness or all sadness would be a very dull one and has no expression at all.

And the same thing happens in my life.

I could remember how sad I felt when I had to live in a university called UNITEN without parents, brothers and sisters at my side, how miss I was towards friends who had posed me great encouragements in my whole life all this while…who had taught me religious advice for better life in the future. “Don’t think too much about the past. Think forward to deal with your future”. I still remembered it up-to-date…

another trial...

Today, I set up another trial that seemed to pose a great success tomorrow I expected. My former mistake I remembered was that I put no salt in the water, so that the germs and dangerous microorganisms will not be killed and hold threat to the guppies at the same moment. But it made sense when I put some salt and stir the water for a while. Another two mothers I set were all alive!!!...

all in vain...

All were in vain…all… My three guppy mothers were all died, floating on the surface of water covering with white spots the entire parts of their bodies. I wondered how it could happen. I am now in an effort to check the water and the quantity of anti-chlorine that I supposed to put into and also the black vases I used to place the guppies. Usually when the white spots are seemed to grow on fish, there might be a problem in the supposedly anti-chlorine to be put into a pail of water. Three drops should be enough that I usually do every time I make some water addition when the existing water faces a deficiency of its level but this time it makes difference...

hOpPiNg fOr GoOD nEwS...

The second car I washed was not as tired as the first one owing to its smaller size. It took about more than two hours to finish washing the motor car, starting from ten till twelve noon. Nothing to do at all…nothing… so that I put myself into the condition before starting to feed my guppy fish in five small-size vase nearby. I was so happy to see that my guppies seemed to be outnumbered right now. And today I had been on an effort to add more vase as their new breeding grounds due to their fasting growth. The first I made yesterday wasn’t in vain. One of the pregnant mothers, I put into a big container had given birth, producing about more than ten little cute guppies. And I hope today’s trial would be the same…let’s wait how it would be tomorrow…

tHe GLoRiOuS nEcKLaCe Of FaTiMaH aZ-ZaHrA...

The Prophet of Islam Mohammed (may Allah's peace and our salams be onto him and his Ahlul Bayt) had just finished the Asar prayer and he was sitting in the mosque surrounded by his companions. Suddenly a man appeared in the mosque and addressing the assembly in the mosque, he said: "I am hungry, can some one feed me, I have nothing to wear, and can some one provide clothes for me, and I am a wayfarer lost miles away from home, can some one provide for me so that my needs be fulfilled?
No one said anything. Then the Prophet of Islam Mohammed spoke. He said to the man: "I personally do not have anything to help you, but I will send you to a home, where all your needs will be fulfilled. The people of that house love Allah and his Prophet, and Allah and His Prophet love the inhabitants of that house. That is the house of Ahlul Bayt of Naboowah where the family of my daughter Fatima Zahra lives." The Prophet of Islam Mohammed beckoned to Bilal so that he may take the stranger to the house of Fatima Zahra, which was adjacent to the mosque. Bilal did that. The man came to the door and said: "My salam to you O Ahlul Bayt of Naboowah, O you the inhabitants of the house where Jibreel descends and where other angels come and go. I am hungry, please feed me, I have no clothes please provide some clothes for me, and I am lost away from home and destitute, please help me get home."
Fatima Zahra heard the voice. She looked around. The only thing she could see in the house was a goatskin on which his two little children, Hasan and Husayn used to sleep. She picked up the goatskin and came to door. She extended that goatskin to the stranger from behind the door and said: "Please take this and fulfill your needs." The stranger looked at the goatskin and replied: "what can I do with this goatskin? It will not be sufficient for anything." Fatima Zahra thought and then she realized that she was wearing a necklace which was wedding gift her from the daughter of Hamza bin Abdul-Muttalib. Fatima Zahra took the necklace off and gave it to the stranger.
The stranger came back to the mosque and showed to the Prophet of Islam Mohammed what he had been given by Fatima Zahra. The Prophet of Islam Mohammed looked at the necklace and his eyes filled up with tears.
The Prophet of Islam Mohammed turned to the stranger and said: "Fatima Zahra has fulfilled your needs, now you pray for her." The man raised his hands to the heavens and said: "Ya Allah give Fatima Zahra all that which no eyes have ever seen and no ears have ever heard."
Ammar Yasir was also among the companions. He said to the stranger: "Are you selling the necklace?" The man replied: "Yes."
Thus Ammar Yasir bought the necklace for three hundred dirham. That was sufficient money for the stranger to buy food, clothing and a horse; and soon he was on his way.
Ammar Yasir came home. He wrapped the necklace in a Yamani chadar and daubed it with fragrance. Ammar Yasir had a slave boy named Sahm. He gave the necklace thus wrapped to the boy and asked him to take it to the Prophet of Islam Mohammed. Ammar Yasir also said to Sahm that he (the slave boy) too was being given away to the Prophet of Islam Mohammed as a gift. The Prophet of Islam Mohammed said to Sahm: "Take this necklace to Fatima Zahra and after, that you are a free man."
As Sahm returned the necklace to Fatima Zahra and returned from her house, he laughed. People who had been watching the whole thing, asked Sahm for the reason of his laughing.
Sahm replied: "What a glorious necklace - it came out of the house, fed a hungry man, clothed a naked man, and provided for a lost wayfarer. It then freed a slave from his bond and then returned to its rightful owner/mistress."
MORAL OF THE STORY: The Prophet of Islam Mohammed taught us, the Muslims at large, to be grateful to anyone who provides any kind of help. The best expression of that gratitude is doing a Dua for your benefactor. Fatima Zahra did not need any Dua from a stranger, but that was the teaching of the Prophet of Islam Mohammed and his methodology.
That legacy continued in the Prophet's own family and each and every member of that family provided the best example of social and personal morality.
In the 61 year of Hijra, after the tragedy of Karbala, the surviving women and children were taken prisoners and they were being paraded in the streets of Koofa. On both sides, people were watching the passing caravan from their balconies. On one camel back Husayn's sister Zaynab and his orphan daughter Sukayna who was four years old, were riding. As the camel arrived close to a house, there was a woman standing there. Sukayna was thirsty and asked the woman if she could give her a drink. The woman came back quickly with a cup full of water and said: "You appear to be an orphan; Allah accepts an orphan's prayer very quickly. I have longing, I would like you to pray for my wish after you had your drink."
Zaynab, immediately stopped the four year old and said: "You pray for the lady first and then drink the water."
Who would think about morals in such difficult circumstances - no one but the Ahlul Bayt.
This was the character and ideal of the Ahlul Bayt. It is for this reason that the devotees of Ahlul Bayt revere them and look up to them for all their guidance in religious as well as worldly matters.

a NiCe FaCe-tO-faCE mEeTiNg I hAd...but the meals...

I got a short sms (short message system) indicating my former friend, Suaidi accept my invitation to a Pizza Hut Restaurant in the center of the Kuala Terengganu town. Around past to five o’clock in the evening I set off to the spot from home and reached there 15 minutes later. Standing in front of the entrance of Guardian Pharmacy and trying to be patient due to his lateness arrival, I kept on waiting and waiting then. Only then (five minutes before six) he arrived. But that wasn’t make me tempered since there is not the nature of my going there. I was really glad to see him and other two of my school mates accompanying him at both right and left sides. We then made an entry into the air-conditioned Pizza Hut restaurant and started to set an order to one of the very politely 5-feet-height waitress. I never eat a pizza before and this was the first time I got it into my mouth. Hah, the looking was so attractive, but the taste wasn’t as delicious as Kentucky Fried Chicken meals set I estimated since the pizza was not my favourable meal…I had to !!!…And in that situation, I had to contribute a favourable impression towards their faces mainly as I got the meals into my mouth…haha…

chaotic heart...

Daydreaming and daydreaming and daydreaming day by day. Driving across my hometown, Kuala Terengganu, the state of Terengganu, every spot seems to have a great memory. Today, I dragged myself to Batu Burok Beach after fetching my Mom to her school for an important meeting (since we came home at seven late in the evening). The beach reminded me about my last meeting with former peers prior to our going to our own destination of study that I did not want to remember at all. All male students from 5 Bukhari and 5 Muslim attended themselves to the spot as we had a nice barbeque night there plus the other friends from other schools. Again the thing happened…we had to disperse ourselves make our way to our own path, our respective destination. But I had make my mind to go back home earlier as such to reduce the broken heart and sadness…should strive for life freedom!!! Remember that…

Excellence Of Prayer...

Prophet Dawood (pbuh) once decided to perform prayers and read Zaboor with the excellence that nobody would have done. He entered the Mehrab and prayed.
After he finished to his satisfaction he found a frog appear before him and told him, "Oh Dawood! Is it true that you feel that you have prayed too well? Every night I am habituated to pray 1,000 Tasbihs and from every Tasbih three thousand Hamds are expressed.
Sometimes when I am at the bottom of a pond and I hear the voice of any bird above, thinking that it might be hungry, I come to the surface of the water so that the hungry bird may get its food by eating me. This is the part of the duty that I perform towards Allah."

so tired...

I had nothing to do. So, I dragged myself into washing my Mom’s red car. That sounds weird as washing a car gives nothing except a great tiredness. About an hour I washed the car and sweats started to roll down at each part of my body ten minutes as I began...and now it is time for me to have a rest...

uNfOrGeTaBLe mEMoRy...

On eleventh, my journey started from UNITEN, Kuala Lumpur to Medan Gopeng, Ipoh. Nevertheless, the soft Gamelan songs still played in my mind that seemed to remind me about the saddest memory the three nights before. Together with Kak Wani, my classmate, we set off to Hentian Kajang Bus Station, fetched by Pak Cik Azhar, a very fond and friendly taxi driver. The Gamelan songs kept playing in my mind every second on my way to there. And that made me feel very depressed and sad for the second time in my life. My bus departure time was at 8.45a.m while Kak wani’s bus was at 10.00a.m. It was just two of us and in order to save our expenditure, we had to depart together as early as 8.00a.m. And along this journey, Kak wani had been the last person among other PPOU ‘educationists’ that I met before we dispersed. ‘552 3235 3565 325, 552 3235 3565 323, 321 1231 3211 5612, 223 6532 3211 5535’… that lyrics were still fresh in my mind up-to-date and kept playing and playing with non-stop mode. The last three nights we gathered, and eight hours later we dispersed. The saddest memory…

feeling depressed...

And today…today will be the happiest day and too the saddest day for me before I made my steps to my home the next dawn. Since we will have our second last meeting before the next dawn appears I will be the saddest person in this world…ranniey..thanks for the sight seeing…and Farah..thanks for the great encouragement you had given to me…Fatin, Siti, Kak Wani, Syafiq, Kak Fifi and all friends. Thanks for being the best entertainers that seem to successfully make me laugh all the time. And I think they should be awarded a great Nobel prize ‘the legendary of PPOU’…will miss you all!!!

I'm sO hApPy... : )

Today (night), we had got the opportunity to have a short rehearsal in the COIT main hall that made us happy enough although there were still a little bit problems about the tool arrangement for the gamelan performance and a few ‘sick’ tools that seemed to emit a very weird sound when played. That we will have a talk with Madam Syazura tomorrow. A lot of things I had learnt up-to-date. Having works with friends especially with our best friends has its own benefits, realizing me that without friends this life becomes a very dull one …bEsT fRiEnDs fOrEvEr…

fIrSt TiMe gOiNg OuT...

I am quite happy up to date since Ranniey had brought me to Mines, a shopping mall in Kuala Lumpur for a sight seeing. It is just about eight to nine-minutes journey from our apartment with the taxi’s rent of ten ringgit which is not too expensive for two people journey. Actually, this is the first time my going outside UNITEN to the Mines. Oh, Today’s Deepavali, right? So, it is not a weird thing for not seeing even an Indian in the shopping complex in the morning. I had bought a few CDs; ‘Akademi Quran’ that I have been waiting for a long time to have it, ‘History of Science’ which is like a documentary and a game CD entitled ‘Rise and Fall’ , which is not actually in my list in the beginning…haha… Anyway, enjoy yours… Have a nice journey…

tOdAy'S jOuRnAL...

Looking around in the gamelan training hall, everyone seemed to be awfully happy with wide smile as we had training for the second day. And I had made it perfect…all of us had attempted all our might to contribute the best performance. But one thing that had given me a bit disappointment was that we could not have our next training tomorrow due to Deepavali celebration. In addition, our Kak Sya and Puan Mahani will probably not around tomorrow…… Anyway, don’t consider it as a barrier that blocks our way to succeed, dear friends. ‘Practise Makes Perfect”. Just remember that…

gAMeLaN...

Ahhah… I had learnt new thing today. Anyway, I think you can directly guess on what you can see in the picture. And I would like to thank Miss Eliza and Madam Fatimah as recommending me as well as all PPOU students to get involved in this kind of traditional event.

cAlCuLuS...tHe LaSt...

Whispering to myself that I could not retreat…I kept transferring my answers to the answer sheets or booklets…writing and writing and keeping writing, wishing that I could finish all questions provided. Throwing a glimpse at other friends both left and right sides of me, I wished all of them best of luck at the time the result comes out. The first page was not so complicated I estimated, but when turning the next two page, all my strength seemed to be beaten to the lowest level, feeling extremely anxious thinking for all the workings I supposed to contribute…writing and writing and keeping writing then…without considering whether the answers were true or not, all I had to do were to complete my works as fast as possible till the last second...heaving a sign of relief that only one or two questions I remembered appeared to be blank… ‘Apparently the second at the worst’…

rEtReAt...!!

Run! Run! My heart started ordering me to escape from the seat in the exam hall. As usual I tried to make a quick step, going out from the place, instantly crossing the road, leaving the others behind as far as I could. Still make certain questions blank. That’s the problem…heading to upten, many things crossed in my mind.."how my journey to Ipoh on 11th would be??"..."is there any ticket for me to go back to my hometown, Terengganu from the west coast of Ipoh?"...how's my Mom right now???...it is so puzzling to expect...

worst of all...

I admitted that today was the worst day for me. No one can dispute that. Do you know why? It was not on my purpose to incomplete the solution for certain questions. I didn’t know why it happened. I could not just finish question 1 in section C and a question in section B. It seemed that I won’t pass the paper since the carry marks for those two sections are quite big. How I’m going to tell my Mom and Dad the time when their mouths started to ask??? Isn’t it hurt them?? Isn’t it so bad for them to hear after all??...

CHEF 113...

I feel quite anxious today since our pure subject papers will start tomorrow and finish on 5th October. It is going to be chemistry paper (CHEF113) tomorrow, followed by physics, chemistry laboratory, and calculus the next day. I still have a lot of subtopics that I do not fully cover yet and a little bit misunderstanding about certain subtopics. However, I’ll try my best to complete my revision for this year…haha. Anyway, I wish you all best of luck…..

ENGF 102...

I can say that today’s English paper was not so difficult to answer, but I’m still in doubt of what I had written. Always be like that…The questions are divided into 3 sections which are section 1, 2 and 3. Section 1 consists of 10 multiple choice questions, grammatical errors questions for section 2 and section 3 composes of essay questions. For the third section, we need to choose a topic out of 4 topics given and write an essay about the chosen topic. I had choosen the third topic, which was about tsunami(cause and effect essay)…just wait for the result…aha.

Holder of Power Over The Forces of Nature, Jinns, and Devils...other living creatures

Prophet Suleiman in response to his special prayer to Allah was granted Kingdom and was given power over the forces of nature, over the Jinns and men and devils and other living creatures. He was also endowed with knowledge of their language and could easily communicate with them.

Prophet Suleiman once was sitting on the bank of a lake deeply engrossed in the beauties of nature around and appreciating the various forms of Allah's creation on earth.
Suddenly Prophet Suleiman's attention was drawn towards an ant creeping forward with a grain of wheat in its mouth. As it reached near the water, a tortoise came out, opened its mouth and the ant crept into it. The tortoise closing its mouth disappeared under the water. After a while, the tortoise again sprung out of the water and standing on the bank opened its mouth and the ant came out. But this time it had no grain of wheat in its mouth.

Prophet Suleiman became anxious to know what had been happening under water. On inquiring, the ant explained that at the bottom of the lake, was a stone and underneath it lived a blind ant. Allah had created it there and because of blindness, it could not move about. The ant further said that I have been appointed by Allah to provide its daily sustenance with the assistance of the tortoise and hence, I do perform this duty everyday.

Let us ponder over one thing. If a tiny creature like an ant living under a stone at the bottom of a sea is not denied its sustenance, why should man the noblest of all creatures ever suspect loss of his sustenance from Almighty Allah? Isn't it foolishness to dirty one's hand in prohibited transactions for earning one's livelihood? Such persons do not get more, than what is destined and earn Allah's Wrath and Punishment in the Hereafter world.

cOmiNg SoOn...physics paper.

15 chapters!!!!! How am I going to cover all these physics topics since the physics paper will be 2 days from now on???

nAtUrE mAkEs CaLmNesS...

Viewing or give a glimpse towards forests and green land of the Earth makes one’s life even calmer. For me, I admit that the fact is definitely true. Having wandering around the campus, walking up the 5-feet's hills every evening is actually part of my way of life. Sometimes, it may burn one’s spirit and in the case of a student, it creates the feeling of eager to revise books or lecturers’ notes. Anyway, different people have different taste. All this while, that’s my way of life that I love nature…Enjoy yours!!!

aSsF pApEr toDaY..

Huh…ASSF paper is all over. As usual, I try to escape from my friends, walking away to upten to have my quick lunch. I don’t like discussion just after every exam. So, I think the best way I can do is to get away from those people who like to discuss and argue. It does not mean that a discussion method is bad. What I’m trying to say here is that the time is not appropriate, right? Emm..The questions are not difficult enough to answer. It only needs us to read, understand, and memorize the contents in each subtopics. But I think I did not do well in the recent paper. Other people might say ‘OK’ as they memorize and remember well each key word and supporting details consisting in the ASSF textbook regarding on the recent topics. Anyway, I’ll try my best to better improve my memory as others did…

mY LEsSoN tOdAy...

There is one important thing that I had learnt today. What I get today might not be a very precious thing for certain people but as to me, it realizes me a lot. ‘Always distribute a smile’ is the thing. Actually, Miss Eliza is the great exemplar of being a person with a thousand calmness heart. She often looks very happy all the times even though she is being in her PhD progress. Did you all realize that??? That’s why I think she should be awarded a Nobel Prize for being such that. Everyone knows how difficult the PhD is…but she still remains the same, always gives her great smile towards her students in which sometimes depresses me a lot as her smile always give me a great meaning. Once she throws advice towards her students as well as me, I could feel how concerned she is towards our spare of life…Only Allah knows how the real fact is…Wallahualam..

wHere ARe you??...

I am still thinking about what I want to jot down today. Just now, I had an online talk with my best friend via YM(yahoo messenger). She is now in university of Qairo, having her studies on medical course which takes about 6 years to finish. Isn’t that a very long time? Wish you best of luck in whatever you do in spare of your life. Will Miss you…

mY lOvEd FiSh....

The guppy (Poecilia reticulata), also known as the millionsfish, is one of the most popular freshwater aquarium fish species in the world. It is a small member of the Poecilidae family (females 4-6 centimetres long, males 2½–3½ centimetres long) and like all other members of the family, is live-bearing.

Guppies are highly prolific livebearers. The gestation period of a guppy is 22-30 days, with an average of 28 days. After the female guppy is inseminated, a dark area near the anus, known as the gravid spot, will enlarge and darken. Guppies prefer water temperatures of about 28 °C (82 °F) for reproduction. The female guppy has drops of between 2-200 fry, typically ranging between 30 and 60. After giving birth, the female is ready for conception again within only a few hours.

The guppy has been successfully hybridised with the molly (poecilia latipinna/velifera), eg male guppy and female molly. However, the hybrids are always males and appear to be infertile.
The guppy has also been hybridised with the Endler's livebearer.
The guppy prefers a hard water aquarium and can withstand levels of salinity up to 150% that of normal sea water.[7], which has led to them being occasionally included in marine tropical community tanks, as well as in freshwater tropical tanks. Guppies are generally peaceful, though nipping behaviour is sometimes BLUB.

Experienced aquarists breeding their own guppies are aware that the adults will eat their young and, therefore, provide safe zones for the fry. Specially designed livebearer birthing tanks, which can be suspended inside the aquarium, are available from aquatic retailers. These serve the dual purpose of shielding the pregnant female from further attention from the males, and of providing a separate area for the newborn young as protection from being eaten by their mother. Although if a female is put in the breeder box too early or late it will cause her to have a miscarriage.

tHe BeAuTiFuL...

Today, all PPOU students had been invited to join a feast in conjunction with ‘Hari Raya Aidilfitri’ celebration, the last ten days. The utmost point to note is that we did not have to spend much money for lunch. Many lecturers, Tenaga Nasional Berhad staffs, workers attended themselves in the event, enjoy eating the ‘satay’, ‘laksa Penang’, and so forth with a great cheer expression shown from their faces…By the way, I wish you all ‘Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri’.

The old path...

The path in the past that lead to sum kind of achievements. I've been looking for answers since becoming an adult Not looking for dogma to live like a cult I've been looking to live, I've been living to find Freedom from cages that limit my mind...

now it starts again....

Now, it starts again. I have to go back on my studies that I'll never forget that...haha!! Since an hour ago, i had meeting with Pak Ariff, the dean of Institut Kajian Liberal, IKAL on topic of some arragements that will gradually be done about the PPOU programme. I like the way Pak Ariff present his talk. I wonder when could I be like him?

good bye Mom..friends..

Yesterday, I had to leave my house, my Mom and my brothers and sisters and my best friends. Many things crossed in my mind since the short break. When shall we meet again??? Miss you all…Mom…Irshaduddin…Adri…Safwan…my guppy fish… Once again it happens. I'll never forget that...

My Rigorous Efforts In Improving English Listening, Writing, Reading And Speaking Skills...

In order to improve my reading skills, I have tried to get used of New Straits Times online newspaper daily since my speed reading is quite low. Till know I still try to enhance my understanding on reading comprehension in order to get the whole picture of any text I read. Anyway, I do not forget to underline or highlight difficult words or new vocabularies and gather them in my “Vocabulary Book”.

While in listening skills, I have tried to do a lot of exercises within the website given by Miss Eliza (http://www.esl-lab.com/). Many mistakes I do during the exercises that I cannot pick up some words that I listen to. Beside, I also have downloaded several articles like “the aeroplane and global warming”, “birth”, “royalty”, “bilingualism”, “the sea monsters”, “life-of-trees”, “rain forest rule” and many more for me to listen and digest things the talkers do try to say and save it in my MP4, so that I can hear it whenever I go. I also do not forget to download a lot of funny and adventurous stories such as “the Eden Project”, “river”, “where home is”, “tree thieves” and so on. I think it is very important for me to listen to those articles and stories as only this way I may know how to pronounce each word like the native speakers do besides listening to my lecturers’ pronunciations. Last but not least, I start myself, listening to English songs that before this, it is not my lifestyles like my friends do. With the help of one of my classmate, Joseph, that I have been motivated by him a month ago, I realize that listening to English songs is not as bad as I think. And in this opportunity, I would like to thank him for many things he had done to me and I will never forget that.

Sincerely I would like to say that till now I just do speak English to myself. Sometimes I recall anything I hear in English spontaneously especially after I listen to the articles or news. But I try to practise speaking with my friends in order to get used of that language. However, I have to speak Malay in things that I cannot understand especially during our lectures and in the situation when I am going to understand people as well as my friends during discussion session.

While in writing, I attempt to update my blog everyday although there is a gap between the days which it is not on my purpose to make those gaps. I will try to make my blog as a journal. Apart from that, I practise writing through short message system (SMS). Actually, it is not such handwriting but it helps me a lot especially when I am in contact with Lee Chee Wei and Joseph through the method.

Whatever methods we use, I think the most crucial part is that if we have great desire to do something that benefits us and then we start to do it, the success is ours. Never forget that!!!

My Eid Experience.......

‘Hari Raya Aidilfitri or Hari Raya Puasa, literally “Fasting Day of Celebration” is the Malay term for the Muslim festival of Eid ul-Fitri. That is the time when we meet each other we would say “Selamat Hari Raya” which is the main greeting used by Muslims in Malaysia even in Singapore. Another greeting is “maaf zahir dan batin” which means “I seek for forgiveness from you physically and spiritually”, for “Hari Raya” is a time to reconcile and renew relationships with others.

Hearing the ‘takbir’ recitation from each mosque nearby, I prepared myself, ready to drive to there. That was the first day of “Hari Raya”,1 Syawal. That’s the time when my heart felt very sad, extremely sad due to the soft recitation of “takbir”, ‘tasbih” and “tahmid” at that particular time. Everyone seems to be with their fathers. Everyone seems to celebrate the “Eid” without any difficulties and happily. After the events in the mosque came to the end, everyone started to walk, away from the mosque. I could see some people heading to the grave of their loved ones, performing the recital of "Yasin"(a chapter or surah from the Quran) and also the "tahlil" or prayers for the deceased. All these are done in hope that their loved ones are blessed by Allah and they are spared from the punishment in the grave. Most people however, made their way to their home, getting ready to start visiting their relatives respectively.

My family and I together made our steps to our home. The first day of the”Eid” was the toughest day for me but the joyous day for my little brothers and sisters as the adults were extra generous for the day. Children will be given token sums of money, also known as “duit raya” from their parents and elders. On the first day of “Hari Raya”, at about 10 a.m, my journey was about to start. Our first destination is that my grandfather’s house since it is compulsory or “wajib” to seek for forgiveness from the oldest or elders of ours by kissing their hands as a sign of respect. And then we continued visiting our siblings of our grandparent nearby. I feel very lucky as we did not have to travel many miles as most of our relatives stayed in the same place even in the same village as well. We had made or steps to our “Mak long” house, our “Pak De” and others that I could not recognise as well as my mother did. Everyone seemed to dress in “Baju Melayu” for the males and “Baju Kurung”, the quintessential Malay attire, for females. Asking for pardon could be seen almost everywhere which was done in order of seniority. And that was the beauty in Islam.

And the same thing happened on the next day. And now was the third day of ‘eid’, the most valuable and precious day in spare of my life. My former high school, Sheikh Abdul Malek School had held an ‘eid’ celebration in conjunction with Hari Raya Aidilfitri. That was the time that my ‘miss’ was seemed like to be treated as I could finally meet my former best friends including Irshaduddin, Safwan, Alim, and so forth. To my pleasure, they were all had been considered as my brothers as well especially Irshaduddin and Adri. Nothing I could say about them as they were too precious to me since we were in high school till this moment although we were not in the same university. And one thing which makes sense that is ‘ukhwah fillah’. Thank you Allah!!!

SeLAmaT hArI rAya AiDiLfItRi..

This year, Aidilfitri falls on 13 october. But unluckily, this year my father will not celebrate Aidilfitri together with us. A lot of unexpected problems had happened throughout this life. I am quite worried about my father's life there..only Allah know..

However, Aidilfitri is just around the corner. I am afraid I could not make revisions when I reach my home. I am afraid I could not study for the final exam. Well, I think you know how it is going to happen when Aidilfitri is about to appear. Anyway, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri for you, Miss Eliza and your family over there. Have a pleasant Raya.

aPpEaRaNcE, gEnE, and PhOtOgRaPhY...

It is ordinary to see certain people with the same face and appearance like the same skin complexion while the others have various differences in term of their physical appearances. What makes the differences? How is the process being held? Let us talk about that in this particular moment. It begins with the existence of cells. Cells in our bodies are continuously dividing, growing and dying. Dead cells need to be replaced by new cells. The fact is that all organisms grow and change by cell division.

From what I have learnt in form 4 and form 5, the variation of each individual occurs due to a process that involves cell division in which DNA (deoxyribonucleic acid) replicates only once called meiosis process. Meoisis increases the genetic variation of the population that people we see around us.

Test's over!!!!The questions were quite tricky that I never solve even see it before.

ExAm'S cOmINg.!!!

Tomorrow,5 october,2007 I take calculus paper(test 2)...wish me all the best..

LeT'S ToUr.......CutI-cUtI MaLaYsIa..

What is the exactly meant by the word ‘tourism’? Is that sixty miles journey is called a tour? The answer is ‘yes’. In fact, according to the World Tourism Organization, a tourist is defined as a person who travels at least fifty miles from home.

fIrSt HuMaN fLiGhtS....SpACe eXpLoRAtioN....

Did you know this guy???..The first human spaceflight was Vostok 1 carrying 27 year old man,Yurin Gagarin on April 12, 1961.The spacecraft had completed one orbit around the globe, lasting about 1 hour and 48 minutes.

And this had opened an entirely new era in space exploration namely human spaceflight. Within a month of Gagarin’s flight, the United States of America first launched a person into space with the first Mercury flight, by Alan Shepard. However, orbital flight was not achieved by the United States until John Glenn’s flight February 20, 1962.

Here are the some important names :-
-Apollo 11 craft(first Moon landing by the
American on July 20, 1969

-Salyut 1(first space station launched by soviets in
1971).

-Sputnik1(first orbital flight launched on October 4,
1957).

-Explorer 1(orbital flight successfully launched on
January 31, 1958).

-Soviet dog Laika(the first animal in orbit on
November 3, 1957).

-Vostok 1(the first human spaceflight launched on
April 12, 1961).

sO wONdErINg...AgAin.....

How did Diyana do it?Her presentation had fully attracted my attention today....How could she do very well today?...Her presentation, I mean her voice tone is just like a real teacher or lecturer and I like the way she performed this morning.It is not like I am jealous with her.But I just wonder how could she perform very well in the presentation?..