I made myself at the Tun Mahathir Lecture Series yesterday…
it was better instead of just staying at Amanah I think…eventhough I totally did not understand what Mr. Robert talked about in the official ceremony…

What had he talked about actually???

I just knew the word ‘innovation’…haha…that was me…

How could J and the other peers understand the talk…???
Doesn’t the way the man speak… I meant the slang he used to talk difficult to understand…even trying to catch up even a word…???

but somehow…at least I had a precious opportunity of hearing how a native speaker from America talked…I meant the slang he used to speak up…

Sincerely I admitted that I totally could not understand him... it was very fortunate to have friends like Fadzhil…Hazrool…Amri with no exception of Azan…
Salam ukhwah,friends…

And I should call them ‘Group of four, The Great Interpretors’… what did you think about them???

Lacking of general knowledge and vocabulary as well is the utmost concern of my list so far… how can I live within such knowledgeable people in the nearest time???

The New Zealanders…they must be very very good and competitive… I’m afraid…
I’m afraid of trying to be venturesome…

(today)…five minutes ago…I became sympathy to myself… I did not know how it could be… or maybe I knew… apparently, I had to be like that…

In many cases happening in this semester extremely challenged me from the time being… because the things were totally different…

Everyone hates kind of ‘hatred’ feeling or being hated…
i'm afraid if i made some mistakes friend...
extremely fear owing to that...

I’m stuck… ya Rahman…ya Rahim…
It has been more than two months… I suffered…

My heart:Hafiz, can you lend me your bicycle???...
Hafiz: my pleasure…
My heart(now): thank goodness!!!...alhamdulillah…that’s very kind of you…
Finally…for the first time in UNITEN…I rode the vehicle…
It saved my store of energy and of course my precious time…
But IELTS is coming…trembling my entire heart…huuhu…
extremely afraid of that…

I became angry... not because I hate that particular ‘thing’…
Sometimes, I became very angry because I really love ‘it’…
No one could tell how much I love ‘it’…
I’m afraid…
Am I arrogant???
Really afraid of such question…
With the nod from miss Eliza to say in Malay…
‘Tunduknyer aku’…
Really really afraid of that…
I felt like I want to destroy myself… 
I felt like I want to ruin all ‘things’ worsening me…
Even I don’t want to meet ‘it’ anymore…
But I love ‘it’ so much somehow…
No one would expect that…
And for that…I should say to myself… “It is very poor on me”…
Always say that
when I’m alone…

a tEaSe tO aPpReCiAtE AnD rEmEmBeR...

I could feel it today!!! Alhamdulillah….
Today was the best day…ever and ever…

I could not even say that today would be neither the happiest nor the saddest day in my entire life…
Even I could not say neither the war has been ended nor it was still warm…

I could not even say neither I was being freed from pools of troubles striking me from the time being…

I could not say anything up-to-date…even a word….

Forty five minutes ago, I made a decision…a decision I never made before within 19 years I lived on Earth… it was merely a decision…

Forty minutes ago, I made a call… it was an evening call... where everyone at my home was very exhausted after facing all days along... my brothers and sisters seemed to be all sleeping for the tiredness they suffered for after having a hard day learning new things at their respective schools…... it made no sense… no answer at all...

And my Mom… she would be extremely tired for what field of works she did the whole day…

But she could still stand on her own foot…never mourned about her tiredness and difficulties and sent it to her sons and daughters… I knew it!!!

Every time she went home approximately at five thirty in the evening, she could still cook for our dinner and even water ‘thousands’ plants at every diagnol around our home…

Forty minutes ago, I did something I had never done before…

Forty minutes ago,…for the first time…I made a call…just want to say ‘Selamat Hari Mok’…(Terengganu version)…

Forty minutes ago, waiting for the call to be answered, I walked around the dining room…I was very eager to hear her enthusiastically voice…

Forty minutes ago, I was very depressed to hear a voice of a woman who is in her fifties………………….my Mom!!!....I knew it!!!

Forty minutes ago, she never expected that I was going to say ‘Selamat Hari Mok’… I guessed I would be the saddest person in the world… for the first time in nineteen years time… what’s an unthankful boy was I?...

Forty minutes ago, starting with the greeting… ‘Selamat Hari Mok’…I could feel she was quite surprised as I never did it before…and her voice…. Her voice tone became soft and even softer than before…

And that what’s forty minutes ago means to me…

…another event to remember…

That’s what we call a ‘mother’… a mother to appreciate and remember….

“Happy Mother’s Day, Mok!!!”

Tomorrow would be our first day of sitting a test…
more specifically, Calculus test that we are going to sit for…
Friday, May 9… the first test to remember…haha
Everyone seems to hold their hand-works of Calculus exercises they had done…
and makes a fast review… I noticed that…

As I could remember, almost 75 percent of the total marks I lost for the recent Calculus quiz...
that I think it is better for not sitting for that quiz at all…
however, the battle must continue…
to the end of the day…

By the way, I wish you all best of luck…
good luck all my peers!!!

.........wondering.........

Everyone wants to be happy... I knew that…
I also want to be happy… all times if possible…
I’m trying to approach that kind of feeling… but for me, it takes time to recover…
and I believe in Allah.
There would be a time when I can feel happy as everybody does…
From the time being, I have so many things crossing in my mind… some of contributing factors blocking me from approaching that feeling I guess…
Wondering… how could I be like this???...


I felt I want to go home right now…but
But…
It is impossible!!! I knew that…
If there would be no Calculus Test this Friday, I think I shall board Transnasional Express going somewhere… the 8-hours journey is the most preferable…or more…
I just want to forget about certain things I missed for…that’s what I really want to do…
It sounds like I still cannot accept the fact…I think so…
Really wondering about my position up-to-now…
…Hoping for an end…Ya Allah…

a journey...

Today…. Today is Sunday apparently, the beginning of the week… and too the end of my pleasure… haha.
I quite missed memorial marks of the previous days…

Apparently, there were girls who went home that contradicted with my expectations…

If I know many of us going home, I definitely would make my steps away from UNITEN to The H

eritage Waterfront City, Kuala Terengganu…my hometown…huhu…why don’t you all tell me that??? What’s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, I had a chance to have a sighting of a view around Sungai Buloh last Thursday… and all the ways to Serdang by riding KTM… and Mines too… eventhough I was alone…

I really wanted to take some photographs. But everyone seemed to look at me every time I made a motion…it was just a motion!!!...haha…

I had to stop my action, grabbing for my MP4 I put inside my laptop bag instead of the camera I brought along…listening to ‘Tak Ketahuan’ song… a very nice song…

‘A bit disappointed!!!’ no!!!...i don’t think so… as for me, it is better to just keep in your mind for all walks of life… the trees…greens… pigeons… cockroache…lands… hills… family… and all beloved friends…of course!

I would like to swing by Perlis, Kedah, Penang, Langkawi… the lands that I never stand my before… really want to…

Looking outside the windows of my room… I tried to guess which direction my hometown locates…
and too the lands I ever dropped by before… Ipoh and Kota Tinggi…Johor Bahru… ‘ a journey to remember’… doesn’t it sound nice???...haha…

To be continued in a short while… see ya(cg’s sentence)…