stepping down

I felt like ive stepped down today… infact, yesterday… I saw Syafiq Sulaiman, I heard him speaking (always actually)… I became very shy of myself… that’s why I did follow him through his home with his Indonesian friend just now. But he has the spirit while I am not… that made me feel extremely lonely here… years ago, while I felt alone, Joe has been my first victim to talk to…at least I went to my sisters and brothers making some jokes that would make me very very much happier… but now, everything has changed… only those who are opened minded could survive while being abroad… however, I should not blame for my action of watching Tazkirah Ustaz Azhar VERY OFTEN… and I would not,,, but sometimes, somethings whispered to me “ how could you improve your English if you kept watching those Tazkirah videos”… sometimes, I felt that deep whisper came from Syaiton… is it wrong to very often watch such youtube videos??????... Syafiq Sulaiman… he got so many friends… no doubt about that…