a real home...

Yesterday and the last two days, there were everyone... everywhere... being buzy preparing themselves for the last paper... MATHS 340... In the last two days, there were discussions everywhere in the night, Kate Edger was the focus... Almost every folk headed to there... Until yesterday, my first friend checked out from here, a home for the year. Another one left at 2.00am. I am afraid I have not been a good folk to them. Perhaps, two(maybe more) left Auckland today. Again, this home has been empty... Again people are moving in and out with one leaves after another... keeping asking myself.... where is the real home......... a home not comparable to any other home... a home that lasts forever.... a home boring us no more... That is Jannah.

ak bukan di kalangan mereka

Aku ada kwn2 yg pndai sgt physics... diorang cerdas dlm physics ni... Alhamdulillah dpt kwn ngn diorg... tp hari ni hati ak sedih... diorg ade motivation and halatuju , sgt2 curious and bersemangat psl phys. Thats why la diorg amik phys kn! Ak ade sebuah buku physics...buku text... yg hampir 1 sem di tanganku... tp ak spatutnyer kasi kpd org yg btol2 keen about physics untuk dibaca dan ditelaah... buku itu bukan untuk diriku,... ak sedih... kerana buku itu gagal menjadi salah satu buku ku... ak sedih... pabila buku ku dibaca oleh kwnku yg sgt cerdas about physics and memiliki tahap understanding English yg excellent sekaligus memahami isi kandungannya pada masa dibaca... Alhamdulilah, ade jugak org yg memahami isinya...apa pun, ak bukan dikalangan mereka

me failing to understand...

After all, ku masih tidak mengerti maksud " cara mengajak insan ke arah kebaikan " di negeri orang. Tapi to be honest, sebahagian kata2 ku di blog ini kupetik daripada tazkirah ustaz yg setanah senegeri sebahasa tempat kelahiranku. Mungkin tidak sesuai diguna pakai di luar negeriku. Anggaplah post itu ku sediakan untuk dibaca oleh kawan2ku di Terengganu. tapi ku harap, mesej ni sampai kepada mana2 sahaja kawanku : berbuat amalan soleh lebih baik daripada berbuat perkara sia-sia dan berbuat perkara sia-sia lebih baik daripada berbuat dosa, mudah-mudahan kita tidak tergolong dlm golongan yg ketiga itu... kupohon seribu kemaafan ke atas segala kata2 keras ku di blog sementara berada di dalam bulan Syawal yg mulia ini... dan semoga smua kawan2ku disamping keluarga sihat wal-afiat hendaknya di mana sahaja kamu berada. Yg lemah itu datang dari dlm diriku dan yg baik itu daripada Allah, Tuhan Yang Satu. Wallahua'lam.

Sekian.

...

I am now in the Holy month ... the month of Ramadhan.

more battle

semalam... hari paling riang dan ceria buat aku... my Best friend ever came to see me at home... Ya Allah, it was really a nice talk... cerita psl kwn2 lama... psl diri sndiri... it was a very long conversation... the presence of him made me not feel lonely anymore... mungkin krn kami byk bercerita, dan cerita dia brjaya merancakkan lg perbualan... sampai ak terasa laen bila die mula beredar dari rmhku... Waktu itu sudah Maghrib... I knew him only for two years... ,,, but dia telah brjaya menawan some part of my heart... Ya Allah... aku berasa seronok yg teramat sgt bila dye bercerita... dan aku mnyampuk... and more and more old and current stories came out from his mouth... tp sebaik shj dye beredar, aku dpt merasakan kesunyian sekali lagi bermula... Ya Allah... aku adalah seorang yg pendiam... tapi, berbual bersamanya, berjaya mngubah sikapku(walaupun 1 jam) daripada pendiam mnjadi ceria...

a battle that will never end...

just now was awesome... It has been one and half year I did not meet him face-to-face... and today I did meet him. He has been a GREAT competer of mine over many moons ago... my GREAT peer... Defeating him was so frustrated after all... tapi akhirnya kalah jugak aku after so many efforts I put... Allahuakbar... BUT but... I'm back, my Great friend... I'm back!!....prepare yourself!!! But I did love him, praying to Allah to give him strength whenever he failed in the battlefield... I found a true persaudaraan in Islam... isn't it beautiful, my dear readers?

That was the most beautiful...

being at Gold Coast, Australia is not my intention at all... but at last, Allah sent me there... What a beautiful scene while over the land there... That's Allah creation.

fear

Today is already 4th June... I am afraid to come back to New Zealand though most people like them. My place is here. Returning to there has been fearing me alot... I remember the late Miss Eliza, a lecturer I admired the most when I was in UNITEN. Because of her, I kept on blogging in English.... perhaps she was the first person bringing awareness to me regarding how easy to master English especially in speaking if you kept practising and speaking in that language. Once she commented on my posted coretan... English cannot be mastered within days... may take years but for sure, not 7 or 30 days... Those words always played around my ears perhaps until now. Semoga Allah merahmati roh Miss Eliza.

hearing Azan... reminding me of my hometown, here I was born

My Public Photos

My Public Photos

something

this week and next week are holidays. it was easter breaks. Everyone is gone... would be gone in the next hours... others in the next few days while i am not... it was just the matter of suitability of the time... easter breaks i supposed is not a good time to choose to travel South. Well, one would disagree that. but with lab reports accumulate and tests are just after the break, i should consider to spend more time finishing those, not to travel!... nonetheless, i agree to someone saying that "bila lagi nk travel while you r in overseas... bukan senang taw!" i supposed they are all right... very right! but then, as many tazkirah n ceramah i listened all this while, i became aware that i got something not actually allowing me to go travelling anymore. i supposed i have become "jahil" while in Malaysia about the personal "problem" i actually experience since 6 years ago, the problem which i have been thinking "xper, sah nyer solat aku kalu .....,". BUT then, i realized it is not true anymore. many things i previously thought it was alright but then, it become otherwise as i did learn from tazkirah. especially regarding my "solat" and ibadah... hopefully, every muslim n muslimah would be becoming aware that there has been lots and lots of things they never knew about "Islamic laws" etc, perhaps you are all should be familiar with all kind of Islamic talks and tazkirah, so you do not lose in the dark of wilderness. although you know everything about it, make sure you are not forgetting on what you have already known. Wallahua'lam

COMPSCI 111/111G Course description Semester 1, 2010

A practical introduction to computing that will build con fidence and familiarity with computers. Topics include: An overview of computer hardware and operating systems, e ective use of common applications, using the Internet as a communication medium, applying programming concepts and social implications of technology. As part of their practical work, students will use a variety of home and office applications including word processing, drawing, spreadsheets, PowerPoint and databases. This course would suit students who want a general introduction to computing, or those students intending to major in Computer Science who want to broaden their understanding of computing applications.

Alhamdulillah....

much confident.... powerful man ever

i remembered... as my junior told his experiences in UNITEN... our place,,, our home...indeed... a story of the greatest DEAN in this world... namely En. Ariff Ahmad Tarmizi... his so-called"power" amazed anybody who got to know him... he was and has been to closed to the vice-cancelor.... hence, no doubt his "power" overwhelmed anyone..... pak arib2...

duduk...tinggi...jauh

Kadang2 aku duduk di tepi verandah…. Kadang2 aku berdiri…. Entah apa aku lakukan, aku pn tidak mengerti…. Aku duduk sambil merenung jauh ke seberang pulau… aku melihat hujung hiperbola of the earth… entah dimana penamatnya… kadang2 aku berdiri, melihat benda yang sama… tapi tidak pernah ku puas dengannya… aku menonton keluasan alam di sekeliling bangunan tempat tinggal sementara ku… tp tidak pernah kutahu jawapan untuk pencarianku… aku melihat kenderaan yg bagaikan smut… bergerak ke sana dan ke sini…. Tidak pernah berhenti…. Hari ini.. aku bagaikan si tua yg murung dalam pencariannya… aku merenung jauh di verandah tempat selalu ku hadir itu…. Aku melihat…. Tapi Allah Maha Melihat…. Ya Allah….

selalu begitu...

sygnya aku pd ibuku.. familyku... setiap subuh ku dengar sahutan azan, tp tidak juga ku terus mengerjakan solat subuh... tp ibuku laen pula halnya... dia terus bangun, berlari-lari mgejut aku dan adik2 menunaikn solat. mungkin aku merindui suasana itu, di NZ, sungguh la ssh ak ingin terkejut waktu subuh... ya Allah... kadang2 aku bermimpi, ibuku sedang menggerakkan badanku... lalu aku terkejut pagi..... kadang2 aku bermimpi hal keluargaku,,, ya Allah.... sesungguhnya mahalah Besar kuasa Mu... ya Allah, aku seringkali berasa takut... di rumah, ibuku selalu menyuruhku menjadi driver ke mana shj dipinta setelah selesai urusan sekolahnya... dye kerap mengambil cuti semata-mata ingin berdamping dgnku sementara masa masih ade... walaubagaimanapun, kursus after kursus dijadualkan kepadanya. walaupun banyak cuti diambil, tp bagiku, tiada bezanya.......5 minggu di Terengganu... ya Allah,.... tidak lah aku sempat mluangkan mase agak lame dgn ibuku itu... syukurku kpdMU Ya Allah kerana smpat berbual dgn ibuku di waktu aku menjadi drivernya ya Allah..... pernah skali dye mengurut belakangku yg sakit ya Allah... aku mnghidapi sakit urat daging... that was the first time aku merasai urutan ibuku all this while... ya Allah.... ibuku sgt khuatir akan kehidupanku di NZ. selalu begitu... entah sakit aper pulak menantiku,... ya Allah... "selalu adikku menyuruhku menemaninya mandi.. aku tetap pergi... kerana aku tahu masaku di Terengganu kian suntuk... aku merinduinya ya Allahurabbi... ada org berkata, sorg remaja lebih rapat dgn kwnnya berbanding adik2nya... tapi sebaliknya berlaku pada diriku... jarang aku kluar dgn kwn2 kerana aku lebih suka bergaul dgn adik2ku ya Allah... tatkala aku kluar dgn rakanku dulu... aku tahu tahu ibuku sedih kerana masa telah suntuk... aku tahu itu ya ALLAH... ibuku ingin benar berada dekat dgnku senantiasa... ya Allah,,, Dgn sebab sedihnya ibuku itu kerana aku kluar dengan rakanku, aku tidak lagi berbuat demikian... aku semakin menjadi syg kpd ibuku itu... ya Allah...

5 minggu di Terengganu...resah dan pilu... tiada di sisiku lagi...ibu dan adik2ku

ya Allah,,, i felt very very sad... ya Rohman... ya Rohim... hatiku sedih sgt1000... seriuosly, aku x sedar that i'd already reached Auckland airport yesterday.... ehh, pelik... seriously, after i reached New Zealand barulah tersedar xde adik kecilku di sebelah kananku... and emakku di sebelah kiriku.... ya Allah...... ya Karimmm...... sangatlah sedih hatiku.... ya Allah... maybe aku sgt rapat dgn adik kecilku Muhammad Hilmi(darjah 3 thn ni)... mmg pn!!!!! mmg aku rapat dgn dye... ya Allah,,,, rapat yg bersangatan rapatnya.... ya Hayyu ya Qoyyum... setiap hari even setiap jam aku bergurau senda bermain dgn nye... ak memanggil namenyer dan dye membalasnye... sudah menjadi routine... tapi kali ni it was soooo different.... aku menjadi begitu sayang padanya... ya Allah... dye mengajakku ke masjid....aper??? adik kecil darjah 3 mngajak abgnyer yg hampir 21 tahun ke masjid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.... setiap malam kami ker masjid... selalu jer aku berdamping dgnnyer... ya Allah,,,, what a good boy!!!!!!! ya Allah... emakku sibuk sgt3 dgn hal sekolahnyer membuatkan aku sukar untuk mluangkan mase dgnnyer . aku tunggu dan tunggu....tunggu n tunggu n tunggu... dan tunggu lg... hinggala ke saat terakhir aku di Malaysia for the year 2009... .... dengan sbb sibuk sgt ibuku itu, sgt la perit rasenyer.... dan dengan sbb selalu kluar bergurau senda bermain dan rapat yg bersangatan dgn adikku Hilmi, aku to be honest, kerap mngalirkan air mata di sini hinggalah ke saat aku menaip blog(post) ini dan mungkin berlanjutan... di Malaysia... Terengganu.... Kuala Terengganu.... Kampung Atas Tol.... di rumahku, suasana gelak riang..ketawa... ejekan masih ku rasai... aku x pernah tidak membalas sahutan adik aku Hilmi yg selalu menyuruhku membuat minuman untuknya... ya Allah... tapi di NZ, suasananya sunyi sepi... no childs to befriend... di rumahku, aku berasa selesa sgt2 dgn jeritan, teriakan adik2ku.... ya Allah.... aku memohon padaMu... sempatkanlah diriku untuk bertemu kembali dgn keluargaku... ya Allah,... ibuku sgt memerlukanku... ssesungguhnya dia keseorangan.. Engkaau tabahkan lah hatinya... aku melihat ibuku menangis ketika dia keseorangan.... di rumah di airport... tatkala aku menelefon ibuku atau ibuku menelefonku, ibuku seringkali berckp cepat2... dgn sbb itu, aku tahu ibuku x sanggup lagi berbual dgnku.. kerana dye sedang mengalirkan air matanya mengenangku di sini... perbualan kami seringkali menjadi sekejap sahaja... ibuku sedang menangis...ya Allah.... ssungguhnya aku tahu itu... mungkin dulu kerap aku menolongnya... malah selalu berdamping dgnnya... dan ibuku mengingatinya...ak menelefonnya, smlm... tetap begitu,,, dye slalu menangis walaupun tidak ku dengar tangisannya di mobile ku... aku tahu itu... mungkin sbb, aku salah seorg yg memahami keadaannya,.. kepada ibuku, Shamsiah binti Mohd Radzi,. aku sgt menyayangi mu....rindunya aku kpd ibuku n adik2ku hanya Allah yang tahu... dulu di Terengganu... aku kerap mendengar azan apabila masuk waktu solat fardhu... dgn itu, aku teringat Hilmi adik bongsuku... dia dah solat ke belum? aku mnunggu ajakannya ke masjid.... aku bimbang di sini(NZ)...aku bimbang tatkala aku terdengar azan di surau NZ... ak khuatir air mataku mengalir terus... sudah tiada lagi adikku di sebelah kananku berjemaah bersamaku untuk tempoh ini...mok(ibu)!!!!!!!!!!!! adik!!!!!!!!!!!!...x tahu la bila boleh jumper lg... Wallahua'lam...