a Queen who has lost in all battles...

This is what we called ‘life’… I found it is a nice phrase… my apologies Naemah, because I take your phrase without your permission… hehe…
More or less half year ago, I felt like everyone… my sisters and brothers... Mom and Dad… I felt like I was one of them where each of us needs each other… but it was months ago…it was long long moons ago….

‘Now’ is not as before…

When I was gone among them… when I left my family…. When I have last met my sisters and brothers… when I last saw them, everything has changed… truly changed
I am no more in my home… every new things has come and replaced the old one. I have no more responsibility, driving Mom and the whole family,… no more… I have no more actions to complete words from my Mom…

Like a Queen who has lost in battles…

And now…
Everything has changed..
because life must be continuous…
everything will change…
more and more change…
I will see…
and
be grateful…
astaghfirullahal’zim…

Ya Allah…. I don’t know what to today… right now…tomorrow….next weeks… I have been very gloomy this whole week… and last week… and last last week… I don’t know what to do…Ya Allah… the Most Merciful and… Tuhan Maha Pemudah Cara…