Convocation is just around the corner. Not knowing I am going or not going, my head puzzled. One thing to remember… no matter what professions do we take and no matter how big we are in an organization, do not do last minute work as shown by one of the faculties here. It might tarnish your image and your company’s as well. As we work later on, be as professional as we can. I need formality!!!!!!!!!!!!…we need formality!!!!!!!!!!!...not just teach and in a sudden, mid-term test we have to sit for without formal note. What the hell is it!!!!!!!!!!!
That was not a good example to view… really really bad to uphold. Please friends…

nothing much i could do...

I went home… because life is uncertain there… uncertainty came into my life long moon ago… not because I did not want to see friends again…
I do really want… you have been my best friends… no doubt about that. I am afraid of the woes at UNITEN… with the faculty management… there is not certainty… no at all…

I went back because I felt… I felt it was all not coincident… the uncertainty faced by me, my poor self,… the uncertainty happening within the faculty as I entered the university a year ago… not anymore coincident…

Anywhere I went, uncertainty would reign… no one can dispute that fact…

I went home because I did want to distribute problems to all of you… I went home because I felt I must…

I went home because I knew you all suffer. I could not even open my two eyes to have a look at your hardworking days… long I knew…

I went home because I did want to meet any kind of uncertainty again because it has been making me sad and sad as seconds passed.

I went home because I felt it was a must… a must to be fulfilled… long I stood… it was all uncertain.

I fall between the two tools… it was all uncertain… I fall between Monash and Auckland…
I fall between in and out of country to pursue…

I fall between going home and staying at UNITEN…

I fall between making medical check-up right now and later…

I fall the utmost between jahil rulers and more knowledgeable group of people… who should I go with???????????????who??????????

all I have printed in my note book. Each woe I wrote… because nothing much I could do to myself… writing was all I can… it was all written on my book… how much you all suffer from me and my own suffer…

no one could tell. I went home as it was a must… for better life of others… and that I should pronounce myself… “Very poor on me”… it was not coincident at all… not at all

This morning, SELSET had reminded us many things of preparing ourselves(those who are pursuing their studies in New Zealand) and a lot of lot of things she did mention in the session. Passport, visa and medical check-up making are among those utmost essential things to be settled in this short period of time. And also regarding on the accommodation application of the desired university of our choice. this morning posed, i would say, kind of chaos among us that we need to settled things up (at least passport and medical check-up making) within a month. That's long enough i think.

Towards completion… that was a nice phrase. I like it. I got from Najwa. Thanks a lot!

the time has been flowing very fast. two more weeks still left.............. and then we disperse...
a time flow to be remember!.....

I know nothing about the future...
Long I am standing and gazing and thinking… thinking of what I am going to face… thinking of when I am going to be back to my hometown for the last time… I think and think some more… and think some more, trying to seek for something I never went and got through…
Sadness has been appearing… and appearing with a non-stop mode… it keeps going and going. I have spoken sometimes but yet again I have been silence for quite a long time, I remembered because I have been keeping too much memory. They are all in my mind…

slowly it moves....

Everybody is going to head for home…
leaving UNITEN (especially Amanah and Ilmu) entirely homeless.
It is really touching
When
at last all classmates who has been doing intensive classes in Calculus and Physics, are packing for home…
some have already gone…
and I’m alone…
I’m very afraid I cannot see you all again…
I’m afraid if the ‘time’ arrives.
And I have no longer chance to be in this great ‘family’ again.
Tomorrow (September 27) will be my turn.

Sani Express… 9.00 am…


17 more hours left…

It has been a very long time I did not update my blogger even a word…
As mentioned, it was not me not to update… it was all about this semester woes that we could not escape. This particular semester I expected to be very simple and easygoing seemed to be vice versa. Mood swings were everywhere, every moment we were at.
But I have got to be as strong as possible…
I have to be kind of venturesome although I’m afraid to…

It is better to care for many rather than only one
Eventhough it is the ‘one’ that I love very much
It is better to take care of many hearts rather than one heart
It has been my mistake
A big mistake to be caring and loving
Towards ‘it’
All this while
And now I realized
We could not satisfy all hearts
We should ignore the one
Whose
Face was really really
Irritating me and others tooooo
Its behaviors to NEVER
Remember!!!!
Let ‘it’ drives its own life
because
we have more indispensable work to be done.
Not only ‘it’!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We have our own ways and it has it’s.
I have my family. Bigger responsibility should I play in there.
Peer is just a peer.
Just a peer!!!
No more than that!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s PPOU… members of the House…
They were all having fun with the kayaks…
I could see…
The boys…
Laughing towards the girls..
And
The girls…
They gave a feedback…
Although it was quite soft and gentle…
At least some things penetrated my ears…
It was very very pleasant to my two ears…
Laughing about myself, it was a real joke…
to say a friend(very confidential to reveal his name) when he shouted,
there would be a big hole that the tasek would automatically be waterless… so that the four of us could take back the floating bottles and the rectangular rocks attached to the bottles itself under the sea level…
Hahahahha… what’s a true joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hahaha…

It happened again and again…
Still could not catch up

and

have deep understanding of the morning lecture…
I was so dumbfounded!!!!
All have been very understandable…
Of what the topics were all about…
The expressions…
They distributed successfully…
but me…

nooooottthing.

“You are irresponsible!!!” That was what I wanted to hear from you all…

thinking and thinking then...

and thinking some more...

i hope the 'confusion' would reach its end...

although i felt...

it would never be...

ya Allah...

trembling

In the ‘dReAmiNg’ world, I spent about two days…
It was very sweet!!! Desperately sweet!!!!!!!!!!!!
The movie
But there was one thing about me which I could not avoid…
It was very bad… extremely bad towards my life-to-be… and people around.
I’m afraid…
if the ‘thing’ would never come to an end…
Diriku dicipta lain daripada yang lain…
No one would notice that…
Sometimes, the ‘thing’ dismayed me that I felt regret towards my existence in this world…
I know it is a big sin to mention that… very big one!!!
Sometimes, i felt it was very unfair!!!!!!!… because of that ‘thing’, I suffered…
No one knows about the ‘thing’ I have been doing…
Sometimes, my heart started asking me: when is the end??? How much time I should wait for the ‘hikmah’ to come??? Two years??? Fifteen years???
Or..
Or it would never end…
Hoping for someone to change me…
in my prayer, selalu kupohon kewujudan seseorang yang akan memimpin diriku ke jalan yang benar lagi lurus…
and to vanish that bad ‘thing’
entirely…
entirely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was all my fault to have started the ‘thing’…
has been seven years...
it has been my responsibility
to get clear of it…
to change my perceptions towards all men and women
ladies and gentlemen
boys and girls

seven years is the long time...
sometimes
I felt
I would never make it
one story to remember…
‘100 days with Mr. Arrogant’... I had a chance to watch it… it was yesterday.
Posting me a deep message, I was really touching of what happened in the movie
when it was proceeding its ways.

Alangkah baiknya sekiranya diriku normal seperti manusia lain… Mr. Arrogant was the one…
I admire.
I know
Everyone knows
it is just a story…

But for me…
the story brings true life.

LeT's hAvE a TiMe iN iT!...............

never in my life, i felt nothing while riding bus..........
it was so empty..........

i need some time to rest...!!!
finally..........................it comes.....!!!!!!!!!!