amazing!!!!!!!!!!!! that was pretty much,MAN!!!!! Orang Arab kecek klate... aWeSoMe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was surprised by one’s talk… he speaks kelantanese!!!!!! What!!!!!!!! An Arabic person who was born in Qairo can speak very very very very WELLLLLLL!!!! WHAT!!!!!!!.
I suppose you all watch what he is doing in that video. He is throwing KELANTANESE wordddddddddddddddd!!!!! Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My heart is broken..!!!!! If Allah has given him more or less 9 years to be trullyyyyyyyyyy a native speaker, LEARNING ENGLISH SHOULD BE TAKING LESS than that, isn’t it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!… If by memorizing 10 Malay words a day could transform him from an Arabic native speaker to a Kelantanese nation, why not ENGLISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... this video I would put into my heart, just as he put himself into that situation…
Again, and again, my deep heart is broken apart. Pieces are everywhere. IT BLOWS UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT HAS HE DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! subhanallah…………………………….Ya Allah…

Couple of days before my final paper, I was searching pet shops all over Auckland area. But, I have yet found one which is the closest one. I was dying days by days, getting nothing to do. Unlikely, in the previous years and months and days, at least guppies and birds had been my friends over the whole year… it was 4 years more or less, I was playing around with some birds and fishes. And now, nothing… one ever said to me, the last couple of months, as this is your first time living in New Zealand, at least you should have a hobby held in your mind. His saying was definitely true, no doubt about it… his saying is true! I realized. No matter what I liked, I will never be able to have raring pets, fish …etc.. because we live in here.,... in one of hall of residents… I am afraid… I will become a person no one would never imagine before. Nauzubillah…

Ya Allah… I miss Sani Express so much… I need transport to wander around… alone… I need couple of hours to breath and look around the greenery… I need grass and mountains because they are all being very kind towards me… I used to board ‘it’ long time ago… long time ago… Ya Allah… I don’t know what to do… I need to be alone,,, because that made me appreciate myself … I was thinking…

exams!

Today I will have maths paper and …stats tomorrow. I wonder what kind of questions will be asked… In fact, we all wonder… hehe. All the best for those who are sitting for the exams today, tomorrow and days after tomorrow onwards… all the best!

some beta and guppy fish...

they are so amazing!!!

way...

there has been a long time i do not touch the word 'memories'... maybe the time has changed me... maybe the time has brought me to other paths that i do not know... maybe the time has gone too fast that so many things accumulate in my head at the faster rate... maybe i must learn ... maybe there has been too many assignments works to be sorted out... maybe it is time to learn to appreciate... maybe appreciating is not enough... maybe i may find my way... my own way... exactly one... some days.

a Queen who has lost in all battles...

This is what we called ‘life’… I found it is a nice phrase… my apologies Naemah, because I take your phrase without your permission… hehe…
More or less half year ago, I felt like everyone… my sisters and brothers... Mom and Dad… I felt like I was one of them where each of us needs each other… but it was months ago…it was long long moons ago….

‘Now’ is not as before…

When I was gone among them… when I left my family…. When I have last met my sisters and brothers… when I last saw them, everything has changed… truly changed
I am no more in my home… every new things has come and replaced the old one. I have no more responsibility, driving Mom and the whole family,… no more… I have no more actions to complete words from my Mom…

Like a Queen who has lost in battles…

And now…
Everything has changed..
because life must be continuous…
everything will change…
more and more change…
I will see…
and
be grateful…
astaghfirullahal’zim…

Ya Allah…. I don’t know what to today… right now…tomorrow….next weeks… I have been very gloomy this whole week… and last week… and last last week… I don’t know what to do…Ya Allah… the Most Merciful and… Tuhan Maha Pemudah Cara…

A lesson to be truly proven. Be brave to ask so many questions you would like to know as they don’t seem to care about getting lots. That’s ‘Mat Salleh’…

it hurts!!!!!!!!

Statistics is ruining me this time... i don't know how can i get to love Stats just before i enrolled the paper...huhu. Stats is a killer whereas i am a hunter... who is always in a hurry, chasing and chasing over the lecture, trying to pick up some understanding of the paper and the utmost, struggling to catch words coming out from her mouth... huhu. it hurts!!!!

ahh... headache!!!!!!!!!.. my head!!!!! huhuhhhh...

first arrived.

My class should start tomorrow. It would start. Again and again after I rest too much almost three months… but I could not forget the moment we were all in UNITEN somehow. I cried myself asking Allah to stop me from being sad all the time. When it’s time to be alone, I remember the place… UNITEN… what is the best there hahh????. Maybe the place was the first location where I got in touch with more kind of human being.
Last week, yesterday, today …. I am in Auckland… one place I dreamed of long time ago…

I went to fidri’s house just now… having talk and some joke with my ex-SHAMS who is too my brother’s friend. I was not looking at my watch because I knew having a look at it make me a bit fear. So, I did not notice how long I had been there till I reached home at 12 noon after buying two Qiblat direction finders or Malayly called “Kompas Penunjuk Arah Qiblat” at Mydin Mall...

In conjunction with my group’s going, every place I passed by, reminds me a lot of indispensable memories. I tried to mark every single place I crossed in my mind. I felt I would be very lonely over there… I was very very lonely. Of course, everyone would think that. No doubt about that, isn’t it? And for some, everything would change as they were adopted to the place they would deal with.

Today I fought with my Mom… the situation has been very gloomy…

It is today in which to change. But tomorrow unexpectedly to change but it won’t. I won’t. The willingness disappears. Like my cikgu did, I am counting the day too… everyone does somehow because nobody knows what is going to happen after that coming ‘big’ day in their villages and districts where they have been living since they were born.

In the past, I vowed to myself to keep blogging. But now, everything may or may not change. It is the time to change. After all, it is me who change…