ahh... headache!!!!!!!!!.. my head!!!!! huhuhhhh...

first arrived.

My class should start tomorrow. It would start. Again and again after I rest too much almost three months… but I could not forget the moment we were all in UNITEN somehow. I cried myself asking Allah to stop me from being sad all the time. When it’s time to be alone, I remember the place… UNITEN… what is the best there hahh????. Maybe the place was the first location where I got in touch with more kind of human being.
Last week, yesterday, today …. I am in Auckland… one place I dreamed of long time ago…

I went to fidri’s house just now… having talk and some joke with my ex-SHAMS who is too my brother’s friend. I was not looking at my watch because I knew having a look at it make me a bit fear. So, I did not notice how long I had been there till I reached home at 12 noon after buying two Qiblat direction finders or Malayly called “Kompas Penunjuk Arah Qiblat” at Mydin Mall...

In conjunction with my group’s going, every place I passed by, reminds me a lot of indispensable memories. I tried to mark every single place I crossed in my mind. I felt I would be very lonely over there… I was very very lonely. Of course, everyone would think that. No doubt about that, isn’t it? And for some, everything would change as they were adopted to the place they would deal with.

Today I fought with my Mom… the situation has been very gloomy…

It is today in which to change. But tomorrow unexpectedly to change but it won’t. I won’t. The willingness disappears. Like my cikgu did, I am counting the day too… everyone does somehow because nobody knows what is going to happen after that coming ‘big’ day in their villages and districts where they have been living since they were born.

In the past, I vowed to myself to keep blogging. But now, everything may or may not change. It is the time to change. After all, it is me who change…

Breeding guppy fish seems to be very simple. It is easy to say and make your dreams come true. Should you put your effort into turning it out. Guppies may not need water to be filtered daily, it makes me quite easy to work it out, unlike the ‘oxygen-pump-need’ fish. Of course electricity we have to pay out for that kind of fish. Day by day I have been looking after my guppies. They have gone good so far…
Just feed them 3 times in a day… everything will be okay!

The time is coming… it’s coming soon… it has not been too far… not anymore…
I decide to endlessly write daily… not actually write, I am typing…hehe. You feel tired. Actually you are not... not that exhausted. It is just how you work your mind out either to waste thinking about useless things or think about something to upgrade your baseless and unlogical thinking.

I am in great danger!!!!!...
Decision to stop writing in blogger may cause my “fatality”… I just realized a few weeks ago that my English language proficiency seemed to go down. Morever, I am not in UNITEN anymore… I am not being with groups of excellent members of the house… not anymore and I am not going to sit for the IELTS for this coming year…
Formerly, I had friend at my side who had not been annoying when he had to bend his ear on my English speaking…
I had Hafizzudin and Azizul who were very encouraging in working my mouth to come out with English words… even a word!!! Azizul especially always spoke English whenever I came to see him.. But now, I do not know who to be related to…
I am less fortunate speaker because I have been very fragile… very very fragile towards my spirit to learn English…
That is not that I hate English or not fond of learning that international language and so forth, I did love English… Because there are many things I do not know… my vocabulary and speaking are still at a very very low level. Even a form five student transcends me. I feel very very ashamed of what less fortunate body of mine needs to undergo.
Like what I often say, if there has to be many things we do not know or be explored to, if we abruptly are among those who master English very well( much better than me), recession will reign…

I get the fright of my life when thinking about who is going to seize the former Dato’ Razali’s parliamentary seat…

I am thinking of what kind of things we, people in Kuala Terengganu town will benefit from when the new Member of Parliament being appointed… and sometimes, I was very fond of seeing both parties trying extremely hard to retain the seat. They were all fighting for their success on 17th January 2009.

I felt very happy to see all these stuff happening… very very happy to have kind of democracy way. I like to see people within various ministries altogether went down to see the rakyat and feel the life which the rakyat have been facing all their entire life.

I am very glad to see three officials from ministry of education Malaysia who had stayed at my father’s house for couple of weeks…

I am also very happy to hear the home minister of Malaysia having staying at my mother’s friend’s house… Pok Lang(in Terengganu slang) is my mother’s officemate… he might be very nervous but yet he should not blame the minister for choosing his home to live in. how could the minister stay with lots of children… daughters and sons of his…huhhh!! All are still small, my friend!!! Can you imagine in that situation!!!!!!!! Naughty voices were here and there. That’s owesome!!!!!!!!!! Hahaha… ever Pok Lang had driven the minister to a lot of places the minister never knew and explored before…
Of course la… because he was from KL… ministers mane lah yang pernah datang Ganu ni…huhuhu. It was no doubt that their presence here was due to the coming by-election… mase ni lah baru hang semua nak turun padang!!!!!!!!!! Huhu… so, how can the rakyat recognize them more closely?...huhu…so, again it was no doubt Kelantanese had been choosing PAS to rule the state because they had appointed their ADUN that they recognize very well… that is what I heard. Somehow, well done, ministers!!!! We all always welcome you to Terengganu.

Come back with the Pak Lang’s story. With his old-fashioned secondhand car which costed approximately RM2000…more or less… huhu.. what a bad experience the minister had to bear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And congratulation to Abdul Wahid Endut for being appointed as Kuala Terengganu MP!

the coming Kuala Terengganu by-election...

I hope for something to be almost perfect… but it won’t be…
I hope for a thing to be more flexible… but it did not…
Instead, it worsened!

Everything to be change, but nothing I could change…
Every single matter to be sorted, but life never approved…
Every woe had a coming stop, but mine almost none…
It may not be…

The next three years I would be in New Zealand…
Sent by Allah… God Willing…
Hoping for something to change…
A little change I would be very thankful…

I felt quite tired playing around all these things… but it never changes.
So, what for?...
Are all these trying to make a mockery of me?

But,
Alhamdulillah…
I’m alive…
Up to now.

It was nothing to throw the books at everyone even though I felt like everybody was trying to make a mockery of the project… even though I felt it was not coincident!... a pigment of truth has yet been met…

“Dead in the water”. I got that fright of my life since I knew more about myself. I must keep my end up, struggling for honour I aimed!

NTCY08

I have gone through the Kenegaraan course organized by Biro Tatanegara of Prime Minister Department. It was the National Teachers Conference Year 2008(NTCY08)…

Biro Tatanegara Programme is waiting for me to come… The location is just the same as the first BTN I attended last year in the month of July… and for sure the facilitators will also be the same. However, I get a fright of my life when talking about such programme! It is not kind of hatred feeling, I enjoyed myself in the last BTN but there were parts that I felt very scared of somehow. And that occurred when LDK and kind of provocation(it’s not provocation actually) took place… but this coming second BTN will be more challenging and unpleasant. The ways for sure will completely change. Everything has changed…